


Falling in love

by zsomeone



Category: Metalocalypse
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-01-25
Updated: 2010-01-25
Packaged: 2018-03-16 20:20:50
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 591
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3501557
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/zsomeone/pseuds/zsomeone
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Toki falls in love with Skwisgaar, but not like you’re thinking.<br/>Warning: You might want to put down your food or drink for this one, it’s kind of gross.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Falling in love

Toki was bored and exploring different parts of the Haus. In the dark, because that made it new and different, and much easier to lose track of just where he was. This was just something he did sometimes when he was really, really bored.  
He came to yet another door, and went inside. There was an odd smell in this room, something he was pretty sure he’d smelled before but couldn’t place.

Hands outstretched, he made his way blindly forward.  
A sudden drop in the floor threw him off balance, and he fell into something liquid with a splash, landing on his hands and knees. Actually, it was more of a _sploosh_ , the stuff was too thick for a proper splash sound.  
And there was _somebody_ in there.

There was a click, and the lights came on.  
Toki stared down at his hands, which were submerged in a slimy, slightly opaque liquid. He looked up to see a very naked and amused Skwisgaar.   
“Toki, how nice of yous to falls in loves wit me.” He smoothed some of the liquid up his arm, rubbing it in.  
That was an odd thing to say. “I’s _not_ in loves with you.” He thought about that statment some more. “Oh shits, is this what I thinks it is?!”

“Ja, loves. I’s been savings it for overs one hundreds years. Rubs some on yous, it ams like de fountains of youth.”  
Toki gagged at the thought of sitting in a tub of old semen, even one that was so horribly warm.  
“Bad Toki, no pukings in de loves tub!” Skwisgaar shoved him toward the edge, or tried to anyway. His hands were very slippery.  
Gagging harder as Skwisgaar’s hand slipped and brushed his face, he lurched a little farther away.

Slowly, Toki managed to get himself under control, adding vomit to this hideous mix would improve nothing. “One hundreds years? You’s not that old, Skwisgaar.”  
“I ams much older dan anybody knows.”  
“Noes yous not, we’s all met your mother!”  
Skwisgaar snickered at that. “She ams not really mine mother, she ams an old girlfriends. I calls her dat because I spent a lot of time in her, if you gets what I ams meanings.”

Toki shuddered. “You’s lying, there’s no way you could saves this much!” He _had_ to be lying. “Besides, it would just dries up!”  
“Nots if you keeps it _jus_ rights. I’s tree hundred years old, Toki, I has perfected de methods. Besides, why does you tink all de ladies gets pregnant wit me? Magics. An now you walks in here and falls in loves wit me.”

“Hey, if you’s putting it in de ladies, how’s you savings it? I knows you’s lying nows!”  
“Dat ams so obvious I ams surprised you has to be askings. I has gots dis syringe thing, I sucks it back outs of dem so I can keeps it, but some of it already makes de babies.”  
Oh great, he was sitting in the combined crotch-snot of Skwisgaar and one hundred years worth of assorted women. That probably explained the weird smell. This was simply too much to deal with.

Toki finally managed to scramble out, and ran for the door.  
“Heys! Don’ts be wasting dat, rubs it in!” He laughed as Toki disappeared from sight.  
Skwisgaar knew he really shouldn’t mess with him like that, but it was just too easy to resist. And he _believed_ it too...  
Still laughing, Skwisgaar leisurely finished his moisturizing (and semen-free) spa bath.  
Three hundred years old? Yeah right.


End file.
